For James 8th August 2011
Oh James, my wonderful, beautiful, lovely James! Today is your second birthday. You’re really growing up now and becoming a little boy. Barely any baby left in you!
To celebrate your birthday we went to Cotswold Wildlife Park on Saturday and also had a little party for you at home with Grandma and Grumpy and Auntie Julia and Uncle Gary on Sunday. The Sylvs were with us for the whole weekend too, and joining the party at CWP were Auntie Sevim, Uncle Chris, Isabella and Melissa. We bought you a play kitchen (which you LOVE!) with a cooker, fridge, sink, washing machine, ironing board, the lot! We also got you a little float jacket for swimming – I guess we’ll try that out next week with you. Hope it has more success than the armbands! (Which, in case you are wondering, you categorically and vocally refused to wear when we tried them last time at the pool!)
Words cannot express how utterly proud your Daddy and I are of you. Everything you do fills our hearts with joy. (Well, nearly everything… you are after all entering the terrible twos, so are prone to the occasional irrational tantrum, accompanied by headbutting and biting!) You are learning to speak and every new word makes us squeal with pleasure. You know the word ‘blue’ although you pronounce it ‘boo’, which frankly makes my heart melt! You can also say ‘choo choo’ for train. You picked your own Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake at Sainsburys – pointing to it and saying ‘choo choo’! You loved blowing the candles out on it yesterday. We had to relight them a couple of times!
What else can I tell you about who you are at the moment?
You particularly like Fireman Sam. In fact you are quite addicted to it, which is a shame as there are only 50 or so episodes constantly on repeat on ‘Cartoonito’, so Mummy is getting a little bit bored of watching it over and over. Mummy’s own fault really for letting you get into telly in the first place.
You seem to be slightly less interested in books of an evening and would rather climb onto the windowsill and look out of the window at the world outside. Daddy says you take after him in this – that he would always be looking out of the window as a child.
You love being in the ‘big bed’ when we read stories ahead of bedtime and you love to get under the covers and be a big boy. I think you’re pretty ready to move out of your cot really, but Daddy and I are worried that you just won’t stay in the bed when there are no bars to keep you there. We’ll have to take the plunge eventually though, won’t we!
Food wise, you still only have quite a small appetite, so you don’t eat huge amounts. Sausages are usually a winner with you, as are crisps and chocolate! Otherwise, you’ve actually got pretty healthy tastes. You especially like tomatoes, cucumber, olives, dill pickles (!), sweetcorn, pine nuts, strawberries, bananas and grapes. I wonder if you will still like all these things when you are reading this many years from now, or whether you’ll have developed more of a liking for McDonalds! (Will McDonalds even exist in the future …? Probably, evil empire that it is!)
You love bath time with Daddy! He always tickles you when he’s getting you dried off and every night I can hear you giggling as he pretends to bite your tummy! Daddy makes you go and put your dirty clothes in the basket by yourself, which you do perfectly. You’re very tidy, actually – you always put your yoghurt pots into the bin by yourself. And you like to be helpful – you try to help me hang out the washing on the drying racks for example!
When I’m in the kitchen I lift you onto the side and you watch me doing chopping and peeling etc. You love the kettle but know that you are not to touch it. ‘Hot’ was one of your first words, so you point at the kettle, the toaster and the gas hob and say ‘hot, hot’ very wisely to me! We have this small brown bin for food waste on the counter and you like to sit on it and eat some nibbles or drink some water as I am getting your dinner ready.
Finally (for this entry at least), you love playing in the park – especially going on the big slides! And you love football. You’re pretty good at it for a 2 year old, I think. Great ball control! Any sporting prowess you have comes from either your Daddy or Grumpy, who was a pretty nifty rugby player in his youth!
I don’t know if you understand yet that you have a little brother or sister coming. I think you understand a lot more than we sometimes give you credit for, but as you don’t speak much yet it’s difficult to tell. I want you to know that I will never love you any less, even when I have another baby to share my heart. You will always be my special little first born. You will always be my lovely, good-natured, sweet, loving little boy. You will always mean more to me that anything else in the entire world (along with your daddy and new brother/sister).
You are a wonderfully affectionate child – always ready with a kiss and a hug for everyone. It makes my heart break to leave you at nursery, especially on a Monday (which today is) after we’ve had such a lovely weekend together. Mind you, with the energy you have, it’s probably a good thing that I get a rest at work! Speaking of work, I had really better get on with some, so I’ll sign off.
All my love always!
Mummy x
Monday, 8 August 2011
Monday, 28 February 2011
Why I'm worried about Troops for Teachers
I have nothing at all against former service personel becoming teachers. If they have the desire and the aptitude, why not? They have as much right to enter the teaching profession as everyone else. What worries me slightly, however, about the government policy of actively recruiting servicemen and women into the profession - and indeed providing funding to make it happen - is why it is necessary ? Why, in the first place is there such a shortage of teachers? And why does the government feel that soldiers are the best people to fill this gap? My worry is that the second question pretty much answers the first. Has teaching today become as much about managing a classroom or unruly kids as it is about educating?
Teaching has one of the highest drop-out rates of any profession - partly due to the enormous mountains of admin teachers need to do in addition to their day-jobs - and partly due to the stresses and strains of dealing with children who for whatever reason lack any respect for their authority. To be fair, we're probably only talking about a handful in any class - but of course, they will be the kids who set the bar for the lesson. What we need to look at is why teachers (and the police, and any other adult for that matter) command so little respect in today's society.
I honestly don't think it's all about the parents. I have a very good friend who's child has gone off the rails to the point that he was recently permanently excluded from school. Her other children are fine. She and her husband are not only law-abiding, hard-working citizens - they are models of the 'Big Society' - both volunteering with children's organisations. The 'problem child' kept getting into trouble because he refused to accept authority/ At 13 felt that he was grown up enough to govern his own life fully. Rules he viewed as petty (of which there are many at school to keep control of the masses!) such as uniform restrictions enraged him. Why should he??
I don't know what the answer is, and sadly, nor does my friend. She is unable to get through to her son, despite trying incredibly hard. There's a lot of talk in the press about increasing depression and mental health issues in young people brought on by sedentary lifestyles and early academic pressure. And it does seem to me that not every child is cut out for academic studies. Which is not at all to say that they aren't bright or capable of learning. Simply that they may not have an interest in all of the subjects they are taught at school. The new 14-19 curriculum does seem to address this to an extent, and the government is talking about doubling the number of apprenticeship postions available over the next couple of years. This may take care of quite a few of the trouble-makers at GCSE and beyond.
For the rest though, perhaps a bit of military discipline is what is needed. I don't argue with that at all. I'm simply sad that we've somehow got into this position.
Teaching has one of the highest drop-out rates of any profession - partly due to the enormous mountains of admin teachers need to do in addition to their day-jobs - and partly due to the stresses and strains of dealing with children who for whatever reason lack any respect for their authority. To be fair, we're probably only talking about a handful in any class - but of course, they will be the kids who set the bar for the lesson. What we need to look at is why teachers (and the police, and any other adult for that matter) command so little respect in today's society.
I honestly don't think it's all about the parents. I have a very good friend who's child has gone off the rails to the point that he was recently permanently excluded from school. Her other children are fine. She and her husband are not only law-abiding, hard-working citizens - they are models of the 'Big Society' - both volunteering with children's organisations. The 'problem child' kept getting into trouble because he refused to accept authority/ At 13 felt that he was grown up enough to govern his own life fully. Rules he viewed as petty (of which there are many at school to keep control of the masses!) such as uniform restrictions enraged him. Why should he??
I don't know what the answer is, and sadly, nor does my friend. She is unable to get through to her son, despite trying incredibly hard. There's a lot of talk in the press about increasing depression and mental health issues in young people brought on by sedentary lifestyles and early academic pressure. And it does seem to me that not every child is cut out for academic studies. Which is not at all to say that they aren't bright or capable of learning. Simply that they may not have an interest in all of the subjects they are taught at school. The new 14-19 curriculum does seem to address this to an extent, and the government is talking about doubling the number of apprenticeship postions available over the next couple of years. This may take care of quite a few of the trouble-makers at GCSE and beyond.
For the rest though, perhaps a bit of military discipline is what is needed. I don't argue with that at all. I'm simply sad that we've somehow got into this position.
Friday, 5 March 2010
For James, part 3
Written about a month ago:
Darling James, you are now coming up to 6 months old! I will shortly have to go back to work and put you in the nursery during the day, which just breaks my heart! I know that you will quickly get used to it and you'll probably have a fantastic time but mummy will be crying every time she has to leave you. You have been such a wonderful baby - so good natured and smiley. People comment all the time that they have never seen such a good baby! You hardly ever cry or complain and you've slept through the night for months now, letting mummy and daddy get much needed sleep!
I wanted to write down some memories of your birth before they fade altogether. The birth was a bit scary because by the time I went into the hospital you had done your first poo in the womb. It is quite common for overdue babies to do this so the doctors are well prepared to deal with it but it did make things a bit hairy, particularly as they were really busy and I couldn't get a doctor for AGES! They told me that they were worried about your heart beat and then left us to wait while we got more and more stressed. Eventually though we got a doctor to come and examine me and you were nearly ready to come out by the time they arrived! When you finally came into the world we all held our breaths to see if you would cry or not. The doctor told us that if you breathed the poo into your lungs on the way out that they would have to take you straight away to suck it out. Luckily though you let out a little cry and daddy and I were SO relieved! I can't remember the order of things already - I know that at some point they wiped you down a bit so you weren't too icky, and then you lay on my front for just hours and hours! The room was dimly lit and all I was aware of was you and daddy: it was like being in a cocoon just the three of us. I felt warm and drowsy and just blissfully happy. You looked into my eyes and we just lay there staring at each other for hours. You didn't even cry although you gurgled a little bit, and daddy and I just told you over and over how much we loved you.
Eventually the time came to go up to our room and daddy had to go home. It was 6.00 in the morning at this point (you were born at 1.00) and we put you into the see-through perspex crib that was in the room. I couldn't sleep, I was so excited - I didn't think I'd ever be able to sleep again. I just wanted to stay awake and watch over you to make sure you were safe. I won't bore you will the schedule of feeding, nappy-changing and cat-napping over the next few days. We stayed in hospital until the Monday evening (you were born on Saturday morning) and we had lots of cuddles. Having you in my arms was and still is the best feeling in the world. I just want to eat you all up! You are so gorgeous!
Darling James, you are now coming up to 6 months old! I will shortly have to go back to work and put you in the nursery during the day, which just breaks my heart! I know that you will quickly get used to it and you'll probably have a fantastic time but mummy will be crying every time she has to leave you. You have been such a wonderful baby - so good natured and smiley. People comment all the time that they have never seen such a good baby! You hardly ever cry or complain and you've slept through the night for months now, letting mummy and daddy get much needed sleep!
I wanted to write down some memories of your birth before they fade altogether. The birth was a bit scary because by the time I went into the hospital you had done your first poo in the womb. It is quite common for overdue babies to do this so the doctors are well prepared to deal with it but it did make things a bit hairy, particularly as they were really busy and I couldn't get a doctor for AGES! They told me that they were worried about your heart beat and then left us to wait while we got more and more stressed. Eventually though we got a doctor to come and examine me and you were nearly ready to come out by the time they arrived! When you finally came into the world we all held our breaths to see if you would cry or not. The doctor told us that if you breathed the poo into your lungs on the way out that they would have to take you straight away to suck it out. Luckily though you let out a little cry and daddy and I were SO relieved! I can't remember the order of things already - I know that at some point they wiped you down a bit so you weren't too icky, and then you lay on my front for just hours and hours! The room was dimly lit and all I was aware of was you and daddy: it was like being in a cocoon just the three of us. I felt warm and drowsy and just blissfully happy. You looked into my eyes and we just lay there staring at each other for hours. You didn't even cry although you gurgled a little bit, and daddy and I just told you over and over how much we loved you.
Eventually the time came to go up to our room and daddy had to go home. It was 6.00 in the morning at this point (you were born at 1.00) and we put you into the see-through perspex crib that was in the room. I couldn't sleep, I was so excited - I didn't think I'd ever be able to sleep again. I just wanted to stay awake and watch over you to make sure you were safe. I won't bore you will the schedule of feeding, nappy-changing and cat-napping over the next few days. We stayed in hospital until the Monday evening (you were born on Saturday morning) and we had lots of cuddles. Having you in my arms was and still is the best feeling in the world. I just want to eat you all up! You are so gorgeous!
Thursday, 4 March 2010
World Book Day
This evening as I was playing with James I had Newsround on in the background (it's on before Weakest Link!) and there was a report on World Book Day. The presenter posed the question 'which is better, book or film?' and proceeded to interview two Primary school children of around 8 or 9 years old about their preferences. The first worrying thing was that the girl charged with defending the reading corner had picked 'Prizoner of Azkaban' as her favourite book. No offence to JK Rowling, but the Potterisation of children's reading habits is of great consternation to me. While it is good that they are reading at all, I get the impression that lots of kids get a bit stuck on the Harry Potter series and miss out on other fabulous children's authors such as Diana Wynne Jones, Roald Dahl, Jacqueline Wilson etc.
The second worrying thing was that the girl fighting the film corner cheerfully admitted that she prefered watching a film of a book (her favourite also being Prisoner of Azkaban) because it required 'less concentration'. I wonder when concentration became a bad thing - is it symptomatic of our general impatience these days, our need for instant gratification?
I was also sad that she felt reading required concentration, that it was hard work, when for me it is such a pleasure and a means of relaxation. There must be so many children who share her view, and I urge them to persevere! With practice reading becomes as natural as breathing and we barely register that we are doing it. However it is not enough for the teachers to be giving them the skills to read. They need to embed these skills at home by reading for fun.
In this respect, television really is the scourge of literacy. It is so easy to flop in front of the television and watch rubbish all night. Once that screen is on we are tethered to it somehow, even though we know that we could go and do something else that would be more edifying. It saps our energy and our motivation. It hypnotises us and enslaves us. Sometimes I think it would be nice to get rid of the television altogether, but having invested in a 37" wide screen plasma jobby just before Christmas I can't see the bear going for that!
In other news the government wants schools to offer alternative sports for obese children including cheerleading, free running and martial arts. They're looking at an extra hour a week of PE for every child. Sounds nice in principle, and I am a firm believer that the obesity crisis will only be conquered by the drip drip effect, so this new initiative might well contribute to changing our attitudes towards food and exercise. On the other hand, I can't help thinking that it they took the money they're about to throw at this scheme and used it to subsidise heathy foods in the supermarket that might be a better option.
The second worrying thing was that the girl fighting the film corner cheerfully admitted that she prefered watching a film of a book (her favourite also being Prisoner of Azkaban) because it required 'less concentration'. I wonder when concentration became a bad thing - is it symptomatic of our general impatience these days, our need for instant gratification?
I was also sad that she felt reading required concentration, that it was hard work, when for me it is such a pleasure and a means of relaxation. There must be so many children who share her view, and I urge them to persevere! With practice reading becomes as natural as breathing and we barely register that we are doing it. However it is not enough for the teachers to be giving them the skills to read. They need to embed these skills at home by reading for fun.
In this respect, television really is the scourge of literacy. It is so easy to flop in front of the television and watch rubbish all night. Once that screen is on we are tethered to it somehow, even though we know that we could go and do something else that would be more edifying. It saps our energy and our motivation. It hypnotises us and enslaves us. Sometimes I think it would be nice to get rid of the television altogether, but having invested in a 37" wide screen plasma jobby just before Christmas I can't see the bear going for that!
In other news the government wants schools to offer alternative sports for obese children including cheerleading, free running and martial arts. They're looking at an extra hour a week of PE for every child. Sounds nice in principle, and I am a firm believer that the obesity crisis will only be conquered by the drip drip effect, so this new initiative might well contribute to changing our attitudes towards food and exercise. On the other hand, I can't help thinking that it they took the money they're about to throw at this scheme and used it to subsidise heathy foods in the supermarket that might be a better option.
Mother's Day
I was just laying in bed thinking that I must get a card for my step-mother for next weekend (Mothering Sunday) when the realisation hit me that for the first time, I am actually a mother on Mother's Day! I don't expect the bear will think of this by himself, so I feel a little hint might be in order to ensure I get a card 'from' James.
Meanwhile there are shocking reports of a large increase in the number of babies being born with birth defects in Iraq, with questions being asked over whether certain weaponary used by the U.S are to blame. The footage on the BBC this evening left me feeling hollow, while one BBC reporter stated that there was one little girl with spinal deformities so awful that he asked the cameraman not to film her. My heart goes out to all the mothers in Iraq and those who are pregnant and petrified of how their baby might be developing. If it turns out that we - the allies in the so-called fight on terror - have had anything to do with causing these birth defects, it will be a scandal of epic proportions. But how do we, the people, object? How to voice our disgust over this? How can we ensure that those responsible are punished? There seems to be little or no recourse. The voices of the plebians are not heard, even when millions are joined together.
Meanwhile there are shocking reports of a large increase in the number of babies being born with birth defects in Iraq, with questions being asked over whether certain weaponary used by the U.S are to blame. The footage on the BBC this evening left me feeling hollow, while one BBC reporter stated that there was one little girl with spinal deformities so awful that he asked the cameraman not to film her. My heart goes out to all the mothers in Iraq and those who are pregnant and petrified of how their baby might be developing. If it turns out that we - the allies in the so-called fight on terror - have had anything to do with causing these birth defects, it will be a scandal of epic proportions. But how do we, the people, object? How to voice our disgust over this? How can we ensure that those responsible are punished? There seems to be little or no recourse. The voices of the plebians are not heard, even when millions are joined together.
Monday, 1 June 2009
Baby diary 2
Well James darling, it's been weeks and weeks since I wrote the last entry. You are now nearly 32 weeks old, which means only 2 months left before you are expected to make an appearance! Your cousin Loussia was born about 4 weeks ago on the 3rd of May. You won't remember this but as I held her in my arms you kicked her bottom through my tummy! Seeing Loussia made me wonder even more what you look like and what your character will be. I can't wait to get to know you!
I'm getting nice and big now as you grow, and although it's getting uncomfortable to bend down I am happy to see how well you are growing. You must be nice and healthy in there! From scans and tests we have had we can tell that you are doing well, even though I panic every so often that you are not thriving for whatever reason. Because mummy has wide hips you stayed quite low in my abdomen for a while, and so we thought you might be too small, but you soon popped up and now you are exactly the right size and sitting where you should be! Also, because the placenta is on the front I can't feel you kicking and moving about as much as I would like and that worries me sometimes too- but I'm sure you're having a good go in there! I can feel you now just under my ribs, moving your feet around.
We already have lots of things for you - a crib to sleep in, a pram to go about in (so I can show you off to everyone), a car seat so we can take you home from hospital, and lots and lots of clothes! We have bought some pale blue paint for the nursery, but so far Daddy hasn't had time to redecorate as he is working lots of overtime to earn extra money to buy things for you - and in between I keep arranging for us to do things and see people, so we've been out of the house a lot. That will change when you get here - we won't be going out anywhere near so much!! But believe me, we won't mind at all - staying in with you will be more fun than any going out could ever be.
Anyway gorgeous boy, must go now and do some work - I still have 2 weeks to go before I can give that up!
Big kisses,
Mummy
I'm getting nice and big now as you grow, and although it's getting uncomfortable to bend down I am happy to see how well you are growing. You must be nice and healthy in there! From scans and tests we have had we can tell that you are doing well, even though I panic every so often that you are not thriving for whatever reason. Because mummy has wide hips you stayed quite low in my abdomen for a while, and so we thought you might be too small, but you soon popped up and now you are exactly the right size and sitting where you should be! Also, because the placenta is on the front I can't feel you kicking and moving about as much as I would like and that worries me sometimes too- but I'm sure you're having a good go in there! I can feel you now just under my ribs, moving your feet around.
We already have lots of things for you - a crib to sleep in, a pram to go about in (so I can show you off to everyone), a car seat so we can take you home from hospital, and lots and lots of clothes! We have bought some pale blue paint for the nursery, but so far Daddy hasn't had time to redecorate as he is working lots of overtime to earn extra money to buy things for you - and in between I keep arranging for us to do things and see people, so we've been out of the house a lot. That will change when you get here - we won't be going out anywhere near so much!! But believe me, we won't mind at all - staying in with you will be more fun than any going out could ever be.
Anyway gorgeous boy, must go now and do some work - I still have 2 weeks to go before I can give that up!
Big kisses,
Mummy
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Baby Diary entry 1
This is for you, James, when you're old enough to read. That time seems many moons away as today you are still 4 months away from being born! Your daddy and I are waiting for you so impatiently. We can't wait to meet you and see your little face! Who will you look most like? Will you have dark hair like mummy or blonde hair like daddy? Your eyes will most likely be green eventually but they'll be blue when you're first born. Your nose will be a tiny little button and your fingernails will be minute little circles - even smaller than holes punched in paper, smaller than ladybirds. We've seen you wiggling about on the ultrasound and heard your heartbeat - strong and fast. I've felt you move inside my tummy and it feels like little kernels of popcorn popping. I love feeling you because it reminds me that you are there and that in the not too distant future we will have a son. I wish I could feel you all the time! Daddy wishes he could feel you too but you are too small at the moment for your kicks to be felt from the outside. He puts his hand on my belly every evening and you probably feel the warmth coming through. I read that at the moment you can hear his voice better than mine because it is lower and deeper. I hope that you can hear him and it makes you feel safe like it does me.
Your daddy and I think about you all the time. Not just what you will look like, but what kind of personality you will have. Will you be bookish like mummy, or musical like Daddy? One thing is for sure, you will be wonderful, whatever you like to do, and we will always encourage you to be your own person, and do the things you enjoy. Your grandfather Dowling thinks you will be a West Ham fan and play Rugby. I picture you playing the guitar like daddy, and I want to teach you how to rollerblade. But you can try everything and just stick with the things you like. I really do think about you nearly all the time you know! I go to work everyday and I get on with things but in the back of my mind I am just thinking of you.
There are lots of websites talking about all the different phases of pregnancy and how you are developing and I look at them quite often even though by now I mostly know what they say!! This week (Week 23) your hearing is pretty well established and you are approximately 29cm long 'crown to heel' as they say. Although you are almost as long as a ruler, you are still quite thin. Over the next few months you will put on lots of fat and everything will get stronger and more developed. Mummy is already making the meconium - the best quality breast milk that you will drink in the first couple of days before normal milk takes over. Mummy's body is preparing just as much as she is preparing in her mind, and preparing the house for your arrival. Mummy wants to spoil you by buying pretty nursery furniture but you won't notice it until you're much older so we will save the money so it will last longer and I can stay at home with you for as long as possible before going back to work.
Anyway my gorgeous little Jim Bean (I like to call you this, and Daddy calls you Jimbo), I must do some work now. You're not here yet so I need to at least try to think of other things.
Big kisses to you, all my love always,
Mummy.
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