No secrets left...

As alluded to in last night's entry, this has been quite a week of firsts for me. This is my first blog page, for example, and I just wrote my first bit of HTML code in practice for building a new Oxfordshire Girlguiding website. I am also - for the first time that I can remember - totally and utterly blocked up, thanks to the codeine tablets that are part of my operation after care. After three days, I can't work out whether the discomfort in my abdominal area is actually bruising from the op, or just pure hyper extension of the bowels!

While I wait for the bear to come home with some laxatives, I ponder that marriage is truly a wonderful thing! The body gives up its secrets over time, and you end up with an initmate knowledge of parts of your partner that they don't even want to know! In an episode of SATC yesterday, Carrie practically had a nervous breakdown over accidentally letting out a tiny little gaseous emission in front of Mr Big. Lady, you would just die in this house!

I might be totally wrong - and if the bear leaves me in a couple of years citing cruelty to the olfactory senses, I'll be the first to retract this statement, but it seems to me that this peculiar kind of base intimacy is part of what bonds you together to the exclusion of all others. It's so great to have someone I can talk to openly about everything and anything (believe me, when trying for a baby for so long, there are some really gross biological phenomena to discuss) and with whom I can be entirely comfortable about the realities of my own body, from unwanted to hair to unwanted air!

So, while Carrie et al might not approve of such utter abandon of one's bodily secrets, I think it's actually not such a bad thing. How can you expect a relationship to work if you're forever trying to project a perfect persona? At the very least it puts pressure on the other party to be perfect too, and then neither can ever be truly comfortable with the other.

The bear manages not to say I told you so

As I sit here hunched over the laptop with SATC's Charlotte having a fertility breakdown in the background, I just wanted to put down a word or two about this week's long awaited laparoscopy and hysteroscopy operation. First off - everything is clear!! No endometriosis, no polyps, no twisted tubes - hurrah!

While I'm obviously delighted, this does now make me wonder whether the bear has been right all along that our fertility woes are largely due to me mentally sabotaging every month's attempts with the conviction that it won't happen. He has, however, managed since the op to avoid inferring this, which I think means he has at last understood that telling me I need to relax is the exact thing that's going to make me very tense indeed!

The bear has been wonderful actually, cooking, cleaning, making cup after cup of mint tea, helping me with the Guide website... refusing to let me do any work at all! It's actually managed to be a fairly pleasant couple of days off - I've watched several hours worth of SATC (Box set on loan), bid on an item on ebay for the first time ever (only to be pipped at post at the very last second - the bitch), and set up this blog... which now has it's first entry. Now I just need to remember the login and password, and URL of this blog, and who knows, I might even write another entry one of these days!

Bye for now!