Aren't you glad you asked?

So today I had lunch with an old friend I haven't seen in a couple of years. (He's been living the other side of the world, so there's a good excuse). As I'm not much of an emailer, we haven't had much communication at all in three years, so I was worried it might be a little awkward. Actually, it was much less awkward than I feared, until he asked "so, you've been married a couple of years. Don't you want any kids?"

We'd been talking about mutual friends, who are expecting their second child at the moment. Three years ago, they'd been visiting the bear and I in Oxford, and I'd asked them a version of the same question my old friend had just asked me. In response, the girl had burst into tears, and it turned out she'd just had a miscarriage. "It was then that I learned never to ask anyone about their baby intentions," I had just said to my old friend. Not taking the hint he followed up with his insensitive question.

My tactic for dealing with this kind of questioning is three strikes and out. I'll let it slide a couple of times, and the third time I'll let them have it. People get really squirmily uncomforable when I tell the truth, but I figure it'll teach them a lesson and maybe they'll think twice about asking those questions again! Unfortunately for my friend he'd already had his first two strikes on the phone when we were arranging to meet, so I just told him straight - unexplained infertility. "Aren't you glad you asked?" I said when I finished. "I told you it's a bad idea to ask about people's baby intentions!"

He's not really the type to get embarrassed, so we moved on, and the rest of the meal went OK. I was really quite pleased that I managed to talk about it without getting emotional, and then move on. So either the anti-depressants are working, or else I'm just learning to relax about it some more. Probably it's neither and I'm just lucky my hormones are in balance today! Anyway, after my friend went on to meet his girlfriend in London I drove into town and did some retail therapy. The bear won't be happy when he sees how much I've spent, but I'm very happy indeed. What's the point of having more disposable income if you're not going to dispose of it!