Sunday, 14 September 2008

Oh for a desert island

It’s hard enough to alter my thinking on the pregnancy thing. I accept now that the pressure I’m putting on myself to get pregnant might be the very thing that’s preventing it, but the million dollar question is how to change it? I can tell myself to relax about it till I’m blue in the face, but the reality is that I feel I can’t escape from constant reminders of other people’s luck/talent/ability to achieve what I have as yet been unable to.

Take today, for example. After my GP appointment this morning I was feeling quite positive – yet after lunch I yet again found myself in the midst of one of those baby conversations from which there is no escape. This time it’s a proud father to be, so at least I didn’t have to sit there looking at a great big bump mocking me. I just had to listen to him talking excitedly about how the baby’s due literally any day now, and his mother’s on call to help out etc, etc. The stupid thing is that I ASKED! I must be a glutton for punishment! Still, we learn by these things. I’m not going to ask anymore, even if it does make me look heartless!

Then I turned the radio on – only to hear another proud father on BBC1, celebrating his new arrival – the DJ empathises, ‘I’ve got one of my own that’s 10 months’. I throw the headphones down in disgust. Is it just me or is it more prevalent at the moment? Is it the wave of celeb births that’s making it into such a popular topic – like a Birkin bag, or the latest dress seen on Cameron Diaz? Or is it just that the birth rate in this country is in boom? Am I just being a miserable old cow thinking that this media obsession with babies is tasteless and insensitive? After all 1 in 6 of us suffers from some kind of infertility so I’m sure I can’t be the only person who gets upset… maybe I should petition the Baby Broadcasting Corporation, but I’m afraid they’re going to think I’m that crazy lady I’m so keen not to be.

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