Cool down

Written 8th October -

OK, so yesterday's tirade was a bit over the top! I'm feeling much better now! The bear and I got through a large quantity of red wine and had a cry and a chat, and I suppose we are beginning to absorb it. It's not as though we've been told that we definitely won't have kids of our own, it was just a bit of a shock to realise that the only lifeline left is IVF, and that contrary to what all the well wishers have been telling me, two years is not that common, and it's not a great sign.

I've sent off for information on adoption from Barnardos. I hope the bear won't go mad about it. I really like the idea of adoption, but he's not so keen. That's probably because he wouldn't be the one squeezing the little blighter out if we were ever successful! I'm hoping that the pack might make him think differently but I suspect he might just feel like I'm pushing him. Oh well, it's just a pack.

It's important to keep a sense of humour about everything, and even something as sad as infertility has plenty to laugh at. The image of the prim and proper consultant simulating labia with two fingers and demonstrating how we might wish to apply a 'bit of warm vaseline' is one that will stay with me for a very long time.